Pocatello, ID -- No one could ever say sophomore Ashley Askwig doesn’t have a big heart when it comes to soccer; she lives, breathes and bleeds the sport.  People often hear her before they see her at an Idaho State game as her high-pitched yell is unmistakable to everyone within earshot of the field including coaches, players, opponents and fans.  
 
The Bengals, who capped the non-conference season with a 1-0 victory over Utah State, beat the Aggies in ISU’s home opener last season where Askwig scored the game-winning goal with 16 seconds remaining in double overtime.  This season she watched the Bengals succeed from the sidelines as she redshirts while battling a heart condition that was diagnosed a week before preseason training.
 
“I think it’s a huge testament to her passion, her desire, and the great thing which obviously we miss, is that all of that she puts into her game as well,” said head coach Allison Gibson of Askwig’s distinctive yell and fire for the game of soccer on and off the field.  “Obviously we are missing her out on the field but as long as we have her with the team we still want to utilize that capacity of her and she’s done a great job.  The kids have done a great job of keeping her motivated as well.”
 
During the summer Askwig, affectionately called “Skwig” by her coaches and teammates, spent her time preparing for the upcoming season by playing competitively for the Utah Stars, a Women’s Premier Soccer League team, as well as training and completing summer workouts prepared by the ISU coaches.  She also spent the month of July priming herself for the annual mile run to kick off the season.    
 
“The last month before I came up here for August I started running for my mile time so I could get it,” said Askwig of the six minute 30 second mile that the soccer team attempts to achieve, as an annual tradition to start the first day of practice.  “That was my main goal because I didn’t make it last year and I felt really disappointed and I was like okay Skwig you’ve got to do this but I couldn’t get it.  I was never close, never close at all… I was trying to do it on the treadmill too so I could keep running it, but I had to stop and get off because I couldn’t even breathe.”
 
Thinking her situation was a more severe case of the sports asthma she already had Askwig saw a specialist in hopes of upping her dosage for her asthma medication.  She went on to pass all of her breathing tests so the doctor decided to take a chest x-ray which showed an enlarged heart.  She was then scheduled for a follow appointment the next day to examine her more thoroughly with an echocardiogram, an ultrasound test used to examine the heart.  
 
“Before I went to get my echocardiogram done I went running,” said Askwig.  “I went a mile and a half and I was so bad that when I got to my house it was really scary because I was crawling up the stairs and I knew there was something wrong with me.”

On July 30th, just six days before the first day of soccer practice for the 2009 season, the 5-7 midfielder was diagnosed with dilated cardiomyopathy, which is an enlargement and stretching of the heart cavity that results in a weak heart which does not pump normally.  Her condition causes her to lose her breath easily and makes her chest feel heavy.  It is a serious condition in which most patients develop heart failure.  As her condition is not congenital doctors speculate that it was brought about by a virus she may have caught.
 
“The doctor came in and said, ‘I don’t think soccer is the sport for you at the moment’ and it hit me hard because I was working so hard for this whole season, I was pumped and I could not wait.  I wanted it to be my season, you know,”  Askwig said.
 
“I broke down and started crying because honestly, the sport has been my life,” said Askwig of her reaction to her diagnosis.  “I’ve been playing it since I was four years old, and it’s been my priority.  I’ve always loved this game.”
 
When she called Gibson to notify her of the situation she was crying so heavily she had to pass the phone off to her mother who also was affected by tears.
 
“It was a blow and all I could think of was her, obviously, I wasn’t even thinking of the team yet,” said head coach Gibson when she received the call from Askwig.  “I was just thinking this poor kid has worked so hard and she’s one of those kids that is so passionate about the game that something like that is more devastating for her then it would be for someone else.  Obviously it is devastating enough for kids like that, but those who bleed soccer; it’s crushing.”
 
Even with her struggle Askwig remains positive with a 1-in-3 chance that her heart will improve under medication and management.  Doctors will increase her medication and continue to monitor her heart as side effect of the medications can be severe.  She estimates that by early January she may be in a position for doctors to determine if or when she can return to the sport she so deeply loves.  It is the birthday present she is wishing for as she turns 20 on January 25.  For now she is redshirting the 2009 season and learning from the sidelines.
 
“I’ve only been sitting out for a month but I’ve learned so much just from watching and being on the sideline and watching people get through those moments,” said Askwig.  “I’d be really grateful if I could play again because maybe I could step up my level and be that much better of a player because of this experience of watching on the sideline and knowing other routes to go.  I still feel like I haven’t hit my highest potential of soccer.”
 
Head coach Gibson was happy to hear of Askwig’s desire to redshirt and continue to be an integral member of the team whether it is pushing teammates in practice or in competition.
 
“I told her I definitely want you to be a part of the team in any capacity that you can and obviously she is a huge part of this team and even now not on the field she is the catalyst that keeps us going on the sidelines, so that was a no brainer for me,” stated Gibson.
 
Though Askwig cannot compete in the rigors of a match she keeps herself involved everyday helping setup for practice and participating in some drills.  
 
“I’m always the one saying, hey coach, can I do this? What are we doing today coach?  Can I do any of this, because I want to do it,” said Askwig of her involvement in practice.  “I’ve done ball touches, I’ve done a lot of abs, just little stuff like ride the bike, but I can’t go so hard so I only ride it for 25 minutes or so.”
 
For a Divison I athlete who is used to pushing beyond her exhaustion, she can find tapering her involvement difficult even stating that she feels like a “wienie” when she has to keep herself from becoming tired.
 
“Some of the practices like turning and shooting practice I’ve been able to do that, just not so much exertion on my heart, and I can do passing,” said Askwig.  “I can pretty much do anything just at a slower pace or followed by more rest.”
 
During competitions she is a fixture on the sideline and has been able to travel with the team to nearly every game except the opening season trips to New Mexico and to the Governor’s Cup in Boise.  Her teammates feel her presence and use her strength as motivation.
 
“I don’t hear a lot of people when I am playing, I kind of tune everyone out when I’m on the field, but I hear her over everybody else,” said Idaho State keeper Bailey Williams.  “I try to think about her every time I step on the field and play for her every minute of the game.”
 
The Bengals were heartbroken to hear of Askwig’s diagnosis and have done their most to support her in her time of need as she supports Idaho State on the field.    
 
“If you look on the back of our training shirts we have a little ribbon.  Our intent was for Skwig and Becky (Hogan, ISU’s assistant coach) as she was handing them out she said everyone on this team has their own story.  Everyone plays for something,” said head coach Gibson before taking a moment to reflect.
 
Gibson has personally dedicated this season to Askwig.  Every day she wears a bracelet she made for her player that says “Skwig #5” on one side and “Never Give Up” on the other.
 
“I’ve looked at that (bracelet) so many times whether it is in training or in the games.  Last year was tough.  It was tough for us, tough for me personally.  This year it has just put it all in perspective for me,” said Gibson.  “More than anything this season would be made for us to get a phone call in November from her doctor saying she can play again.  If that happens we will be ecstatic, if it doesn’t we will help her to make that transition and take the next step in her life.”
 
The soccer program has also shown support with medical preparation as every coach and player became CPR certified  at the start of the season. They did it for Askwig in case the need ever arose.
 
“I was grateful for it,” said Askwig when she found out the players had taken CPR certification courses for her.  “It is really nice because now I can trust anyone on my team that I am with…it is really comforting to know the whole team is willing to do that.”
 
More than just teammates the Bengals are true friends on and off the pitch.  It’s the friends she has gained that has had such an impact on her and helped her through the season.
 
“I feel a couple people have been like Skwig this season’s for you.  They’ve been really pushing for me and I know they’ve been praying for me and I respect that. I’ve been so grateful for the friendships that I have on this team,” said Askwig.
 
The Bengals are no stranger to life-threatening conditions as the team was affected in head coach Gibson’s first season with Idaho State in 2006 when Jana Davis-Boehler was diagnosed with Thrombocytopenia, a rare occurrence of relatively few platelets in the blood.  It is a serious condition as platelets lead to the formation of blood clots.  Without platelets an individual can literally bleed to death both internally and external, a major risk in a high-contact sport such as soccer.
 
In a similar fashion as Askwig, Davis-Boehler was sidelined and redshirted for her sophomore season.  The 5-6 forward was made aware of her condition when she was suffered a bloody nose in the last days of preseason that could not be stopped.  She was diagnosed from there and had to undergo chemotherapy as part of her treatment.
 
Luckily, Davis-Boehler’s condition improved as her platelets returned to normal levels and she was able to return to the team the following season.  She went on to have her most successful campaign scoring six goals, with three being game winners, and recording three assists.
 
“I told her if she ever needed anyone to talk to about it or anything like that, that I was here because I’ve kind of been through the whole thing.  For my thing the doctors told me there was a possibility that I would never play again so (I was) kind of in the same shoes she is in now,” said Davis-Boehler.  
 
“It’s hard and it’s weird, because you always hear it as do everything to your fullest because you never know when you won’t be able to do it again, so that happens you go from a day where you are fine getting ready for the first home opener and then all of a sudden it’s you can’t play and you may never be able to play again.”
 
However, Davis-Boehler’s presence since rejoining the Bengals serves as a reminder for the team that anything is possible even if the circumstances seem dismal.  It is certainly the hope that guides head coach Gibson’s thoughts and prayers.
 
“Our goal is to get her back on the field; first and foremost,” Gibson said of Askwig.  “If that’s not the case and God has different plans for her then we are definitely going to support her in those endeavors as well, and she will always, always have a place here.”
 
While Askwig waits for her treatment to turn her life back around she returns the love and support she feels back onto the Bengals.
 
 “I’m there to support them at every game or every practice and I try to give them my energy and give them my passion for the game as much as I can so they can keep going,” stated Askwig after reflecting on her role with the Bengals while redshirting.  “I really want to be there for my team because I know this year is going to be good whether I’m on the field or off.”