“There are two huddles here. There is hope and there is reality. Reality is us. Hope is in that other huddle.”

That’s the mentality that Derek Missimo has instilled into his Solar teams over the years. 

“If you let hope grow, hope will become a problem at half time. And then they will become a problem over 90 minutes. Then before you know it you are going to lose control of this game. Our philosophy is the Mike Tyson philosophy: meet them in the middle of the ring for the first 20 minutes. We come full pressure, unrelenting pressure.”

It’s worked. In the elite level of club soccer, Solar SC’s dominance has been more than noteworthy. 

Since 2016, Missimo has coached a team in either the National Championship of the US Youth Soccer, ECNL, or the Girls Development Academy. No other team has enjoyed similar success at the highest levels of club soccer consistently. On its own, it’s remarkable. Missimo did it though by coaching his daughters, Gabriella and Alexis. 

“I didn’t want to coach my girls,” Missimo told TopDrawerSoccer during a telephone interview earlier this month. “In 2007, Gabby’s team, the Lady Dragons or Dragon Flies, they needed a winter coach. I was sitting and minding my own business and the team manager came over and asked if I could do. When I started, I just became hooked. Selfishly, it was an advantage to see my kids.”

Portraying Missimo as a father on the sideline who just stands there with a clipboard is a bit of a disservice. He was an outstanding player in his own right. He played for the U.S. Youth National Teams as a teenager - featuring for the U16 Boys National Team at the U16 World Championship in 1985. Understandably, he was a highly rated recruit out of high school. 

Originally, Missimo had committed to stay close to home and attend SMU. However, a scandal with the football program at the school altered that path and reopened Missimo’s recruitment late in the process. 

University of North Carolina legend Anson Dorrance, then the head coach of both the men’s and women’s programs, tried to recruit Missimo before the initial commitment, and gave it another shot when Missimo opened up his recruiting process late in the game. 

“I am in his living room,” Dorrance told TopDrawerSoccer in a telephone interview. “I make my best pitch. I didn’t tell the family before I flew down there that I didn’t have any scholarship money. I just wanted to get in the living room and roll the dice and see what happened. ‘We would love for you to come play at the University of North Carolina, but I’m so sorry we have run out of scholarship money.”

“Basically hoping we could work something out or he could take out loans or something. All of a sudden, I am attacked by his father. I mean verbally assaulted by his father. ‘I can’t believe it. What are you doing in my living room. You fly in and insult me and my son. Not making offer at all.’ He is just incredulous. He is screaming at me. I am sitting there getting one fist to the face after another. I’m getting beaten to death. Derek interrupts this, ‘Hey Dad, stop insulting my coach.”

It was this moment that had a massive domino effect. Missimo picked North Carolina. He picked Dorrance. It set off a life-long friendship between the two. 

Missimo left his mark in Chapel Hill. He finished as the leading scorer on the team all four years he was there. He is still the all-time leader in goals scored and career total points for the Tar Heels Men’s Soccer program. 

"He was one of the greatest players I’ve ever coached on the men’s side,” Dorrance said. “He helped take my team to a Final Four and an ACC Championship the year before I retired from the men’s side.”

A lot of Missimo’s coaching influence comes from what he learned during his time playing for Dorrance, and then observing Dorrance’s level of success with the women’s program at North Carolina. 

“I always talk to Anson [Dorrance] about this,” Missimo said when asked about his coaching philosophy. “The days when I would be in a huddle with Anson. He would say, ‘Boys there’s a couple of you in this huddle who aren’t performing.’ I know I would be looking to the left and looking around at who is not performing because it’s not me obviously. That’s how boys think.”

“If you do that in a huddle with girls, 'ladies there are a couple in here who aren’t performing.’ You always look down. You always look down at the ground. It could be a false bravado. You could just be falsely saying it. Everybody in that huddle thinks they can do more. That is what makes the female athlete special. Their desire to want to be their very best. Not just for themselves but for their teammates. Anson has this thing that I stole years ago - play hard, play smart, play together. He actually stole that from Dean Smith and the men’s basketball program. That philosophy is really underscored with the female teams. That’s why my teams through the years have always won because of the unity and culture. Obviously, having special talent like Lexi [Missimo], Trinity [Byars], and the seven other national team kids has helped as well.”

Dorrance has seen plenty of Missimo’s teams over the years and he can’t help but feel some pride in his former pupil. 

“What I really loved about Derek was his decision to jump into the women’s game,” Dorrance said. “Back in the day when I first started coaching women, I was killing myself to encourage as many quality coaches as I could to jump into the women’s side. Obviously, it was very difficult. The thing that made it very easy for Derek was his daughter. To have his soccer mind on the girls side has been huge because those are players he impacts on a consistent basis at a very high level. Over the years watching his teams play, I was very impressed but also really proud because he played for me on the men’s side. For the United States to stay in its current position as this dynastic world power in women’s soccer, it’s coaches like Derek who are going to keep us there. The more elite coaches that we can attract to the women’s side will put us in this remarkable position and he is clearly one of them.”

There is a certain stigma attached to teams with parents as the coach. It rarely happens in elite club sports in the older age groups, which makes Missimo’s continued success even more uncommon. 

For the other parents on the team, there is no one else they’d rather have on the sideline. 

“Having Derek as Trinity’s coach was actually life changing,” Agatha Byars told TopDrawerSoccer in an interview with TopDrawerSoccer last week. “We have four other daughters who play club soccer for Solar and we have never experienced anything like the journey we had with Missimo.”

Missimo has been coaching Trinity Byars for over a decade now. 

“[Missimo] changed the game for our children as he created an impactful strong culture on and off the field. He strongly believes the girls should be well centered young ladies who should not identify as soccer players as 'soccer is what they do, but not who they are.’ He strongly believes in good discipline, strong self respect, world-class people, outstanding citizens of our society. He always emphasized education, character and integrity to his players.”

For Missimo’s younger daughter, Alexis or Lexi, she has been there for the whole journey. As a four-year-old, she started as a cheerleader for her older sister’s team - wearing a North Carolina cheerleading outfit on the sidelines, according to her dad. A decade later, the youngest Missimo was an integral part of the team (while playing up three age groups) during the run to the Development Academy National Championship game in 2018. 

“Obviously he coaches me the most so he makes me the best I can possibly be,” Lexi Missimo told TopDrawerSoccer in a telephone interview last week. “Without his training, I don’t think I would be where I am today.”

It’s easy to think that Lexi’s soccer genes come for her dad, but her mom (Sue Missimo) was a standout player too. Sue Missimo was a four-year letter winner at TCU. 

The youngest Missimo seems to have the best of both parents. 

Lexi Missimo has played in a National Championship game since U13 - the first age for a National Champion in club soccer - in 2016. She has a US Youth Soccer National Championship and a Girls Development Academy National Championship in the trophy room. Countless other medals and trophies as well. 

She wanted to close out this season with the chance to defend the title. At this point, that seems unlikely due to the COVID-19 pandemic, which has postponed or canceled hundreds of soccer events in 2020 including the U17 Concacaf Championship and the U17 World Cup. Lexi Missimo and Trinity Byars both would have been a part of the USA team at both events.  

In theory, this was going to be the storybook ending for Lexi Missimo. She is on pace to graduate in June - a year ahead of schedule. She had eyes on training in Europe with professional clubs in the build-up to the U17 World Cup in the fall. 

“Obviously when I was a little girl, I always wanted to play on the women’s full team,” Lexi Missimo told TopDrawerSoccer. “Obviously, that is one of my goals. Going pro and being on the full national team are my goals.”

For the benefit of the other clubs in the elite club soccer world, Lexi Missimo’s exit from that level is the end for Derek as a coach too. Whether clubs will admit to it or not, there is a certain fear to playing Solar. 

Among the elite teams in the club soccer world at the Development Academy level, Solar has still managed to score more than 10 goals in a game four times this season. Last season, Solar scored 182 goals in 33 games. Lexi Missimo scored 62 of those goals.  

“Last year’s team was very close,” Lexi Missimo said. “The closest team I’ve ever had. No doubt. We had a motto: Play for 90 minutes. For players on the field or coming off the bench, you have to compete for 90 minutes no matter what the score is. I guess we racked up the goals.”

Those types of scores tend to reverberate throughout the soccer world.  

“I actually had a girl come up to me after a game one time and say, ‘Wow, I was really scared to play you all!” Lexi Missimo told TopDrawerSoccer. 

“Your voice is your play,” Derek Missimo said. “The play and the results carry over. I think when people see the results, they see the accumulation of the talent on the roster, it is an intimidating factor going in.”

The success has been remarkable, but both cited the memories off the field as their favorites. 

“The memories and the great experiences off the field,” Derek Missimo said. “All those many trips that we had, all those smiles, all those laughs. It’s nothing but an amazing journey. Hopefully we get a chance to at least defend our title and make it to a fifth final. That’d be great.”

Missimo, the coach, offered some advice to parents who might be following his path. 

“The best takeaway for me - the business has changed,” Derek Missimo said. “It’s changed into a very lucrative business in youth athletics. I think it comes down to the basics. You’ve got to have a player who has incredible passion and love for the game. You have to harvest that talent, but you can’t hover over them. For dad coaches trying to be involved, if they have something to share, a talent to share, it’s definitely advantageous.”

Missimo, the player, also offered her advice to parents who are looking to coach their children. 

“I think parents need to have patience.” Lexi Missimo said. “For me personally, I can get mad. I want to make everyone happy. I see him happy and then I’m more happy and positive about my play and gives me more confidence. I think patience is everything to be honest.”

The storybook ending at the club level seems in jeopardy with summer events in question, but this seems like just the start for Lexi Missimo’s career.